Poetic Revelations: Circles and Spirals

At the edge of our plans, a clearing

“The bird circles back for you and you must decide which appointment you were born to keep.”

~ Mark Nepo, The Appointment

This weekly publication is for all heart-centered warriors, trying to navigate this thing we call life with an intact open heart.

SELECTED POEMS

• When Giving is All We Have, Albert Rios

• Widening Circles, Rainer Maria Rilke

Dear Embodied Hearts and Dancing Souls,

Today’s Tuesday Dance Chapel is the last of the summer. See you there! I am participating in this 31 days of Connecting with the Land writing program on my journey right now.

Circles. I am so reminded of the circles we belong to. InterPlay recognizes that we all belong to multiple circles. It might be a tiny circle of people who put cheese slices in their PB&J sandwiches. Or, it might be a large circle of people who graduated from a school the same year. This weekend I gathered with one of my earliest circles — the group of families who made a joint decision to move to America — each helping each in a chain with the leaving, arriving, lodging and job hunting until the men were established enough to bring over their wives and children. In the absence of any blood relatives growing up in the States, these were my uncles, aunts and cousins.

Much later in life, another Indian friend remarked on the unique composition of this circle. Rather than the norm of grouping ourselves around a distinct family or ethnic identity, this circle grouped on the men’s professional identity. It comprises families from North and South India, Muslim and Hindu, all speaking different languages.

Our elders are showing fraility. We have already lost vital ones. My father is not sure there will be another occassion for gathering with his peers. He turned to my generation to request that we continue to gather. All I can tell you is we were loved and led by all of these hands. What I can’t express is all they have passed down that is simply present in each offspring.

Concavity. While my eating and exercising progress is in tiny increments rather than large leaps and bounds, by the time I was traveling up for the reunion I noticed a concavity in the center of my belly. Calm. At least that’s how it feels inside — like a little hollow — and this is a welcome respite from the bloat I usually felt. You can picture it like a cupped hand we might proffer, ready to Receive.  

This lull I’m in was feeling prolonged so I chose to turn to an Akashic record reading for clarity. I was told my soul engineered this lull for deep wound healing. Which we commenced, with tissues. The wound was preventing me from receiving and being all of me. This shows up consistently in situations with my nuclear family. I have now come to a point where I am able to have experiences with them with Safety, and even experience moments of Joy. But the risk of not feeling Safe is ever present. And so this nodal point means my being even more willing to be me, to walk the Soul path I signed up (and that lights me up) and accepting that it is not theirs. Actually its letting them be who they are, and me being who I am.

I have my own fraility in this choice.

There are big stories I have been hanging onto here. About what it means for me to be different and the closeness and love that I desire. Stories of lack, stories of sorrow. But…there are also stories I want to create. These stories are only possible if I allow myself to be more fully me. My mantra right now is: I receive all of me. It means me walking further out to the edges of my Divine Feminine expression.

At the edge of all our plans. Its a time of clearing really — letting go of the stories I fear to make room for stories that want to be born. I was touched to find this poem by Mark Nepo. It tells a story of a person walking to work who suddenly sees a colorful bird. The bird seems like “it knows something.” And the person decides to follow it, risking being late for work. Then the bird turns down an alley and soon the risk becomes a choice:

You might go another block or two,
thinking you can have it both ways.
But soon you arrive at the edge
of all your plans.

The bird circles back for you
and you must decide which
appointment you were
born to keep.

To me, there is a solidity in knowing, seeing and feeling how every part of our experience is connected. For me, it means I only have to focus on one real thing at any time. I like having clarity on what I call “my inside job.” And I know its the right job because my heart tingles, my breath expands and a slight smile appears on my face.

Celebrating just how much we each matter and how much we can step into our life.

Stay #heartwoke. To your exquisite unfolding.

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