Poetic Revelations: Grief and Gesture

A felt experience

“I was struck by the surprise

remembrance

of words long dead “We saw your tears

and knew that you were with us.”

~ Tom Henderson

This is a weekly publication for heart-centered warriors, swimming through this thing called life with an intact, open heart (and voice).

SELECTED POEMS

• Heavy, Mary Oliver

• I Ask my Mother to Sing, Li-Young Lee

Dear Embodied Hearts and Dancing Souls,

Feeling subdued at the start of this week. We lost an elder in our InterPlay community last week. I’m also coming off a 4 day IP experience where much was created. My mood seems to match the changing color of the leaves on the trees, or that of the berry maturing into purples and turquoise on the vine. Dance Chapel is tonight.

Reward. That integration of my rejected bits led to a reward. For the first time in maybe forever I was with a group of more than a dozen people for 8-10+ hours a day (for 2 straight days) without the need to leave for alone time. I didn’t have anxiety or pressure. I didn’t keep myself protected, nor did I keep myself “ON.” In any way. There was an absence of…needing to judge or evaluate myself (or others) in any way. I celebrate this peace in my body.

I also found I wasn’t alone in having pieces I judge.

With 5 of us co-leading this InterPlay Secrets workshop, the “load” was considerably lighter for each. Such a sense of equanimity we felt, instead of burden. It felt gentle and uplifting, for leaders and participants. As each person was more expressed in the space, through their creations and stories, there was a greater sense of ease, intimacy, fullness and silliness. The space transformed through the connections. A gorgeous way to round out September, building relationships in a real-life local community. 

Grief and Gestures: Grief was in the room. We lost an InterPlay elder last week. Many hearts were feeling loss, his or other beloveds. One of my favorite aspects of IP is that it recognizes that people simply need space to have our emotions. One woman reminded us of how precious gestures can be when we lose someone. 

This is true in general in my emotional freedom and coaching work, but especially true in grieving. A gesture is a simple movement we make using our hands and bodies. It is one of the simplest (and wisest) guidance our Body Wisdom can give us.

The beauty of finding your true gesture, from the inside out, is that it gives you a felt experience in the moment that is more, much more, than words or thoughts.

We feel met.

This woman found three gestures that gave her a felt experience of the relationship she had with the person she lost. One gesture gave her the feeling she had when she was with them, another reminded her of a specific memory associated with a smell, and the third was simply a spot - a spot in her surroundings that she touched to Place him in her reality.

The Power of Ritual (and Gesture). Each connected her to them. Stringing them together gave her the ritual she needed to both grieve and celebrate this relationship in her life. When I danced on behalf of her story, I incorporated her three gestures and experienced for myself the power of a grieving ritual. As I moved and repeated the gestures, a remarkable thing happened. Their frequency dissipated. The interval between them showing up got larger and larger until I was willing to let the beloved “go” and wish them well on their Spirit journey. 

I feel a two-fold awe here. (Or maybe its the same fold). One is recognizing the deep-seeded need in our humanity to Mourn. Our Grief feels like a River of Love coming forth but not having a place to go. Just like Love, we must let Grief flow. The second is how readily our Body recognizes our Humanity and comes running forward to meet us. 

On my walk this morning, another piece came floating in. We transition to a different phase of the relationship where we can receive their love as Spirit. We feel their love flow into our bodies in the stream of the greater loving Consciousness that surrounds us all.

My one-on-one sessions are available if you want to Move and find your true gestures. You should have the richness of your emotional experience! Rather than post-it notes to reinforce a new thought or habit, I encourage clients to simply repeat their found gestures. Its easier, more satisfying and effective.

Stay #heartwoke. To your exquisite unfolding,

Monisha

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NOTES:

1. Tuesday Dance Chapel Zoom link (same each week):

   NEW Dance Chapel Link: 825 748 1773 or Click here (has password)
   
   Passcode: wedance