Poetic Revelations: Listening with Heart

Your Frequency is Alive

Look at this heart, in the rock. That’s who we are.

—Monisha

This is a weekly publication for heart-centered warriors, swimming through this thing called life. Because Human-ing is harder than Adulting.

Selected Poem:

• One Heart, Li-Young Lee

Dear Embodied Hearts and Dancing Souls,

There is a frequency in everything. This last week I stepped into a new vibe. Its another layer in my heart, the best I can tell. Its helped me open up to another level of listening—to the frequencies alive below the level of words. This was apparent to me in one-on-one interactions, in groups, and while leading others in Vocal Play.

Listening for the Feelings.  Last week, on travel, I noticed my father-in-law getting unusually agitated and snappish in response to a question I had asked. Though his son and wife know this side of him, he never behaves this way with me. I became concerned, and wondered what was happening for him underneath the intensity of his words. 

So I asked out loud, Dad, what is the matter? Is there a feeling you are having?” As it turns out, he did have a feeling. Even though part of our purpose was to assist with technology as part of elder care, he didn’t feel it was a visit with all of us hovered over devices. He calmed down considerably once he expressed his feeling and it was acknowledged. I dropped my troubleshooting, pulled up my chair and turned my attention to chatting instead of doing. When he expressed remorse at his outburst. “Its OK,” I said genuinely, “Its all part of being human.”

This is the truth. The same thing happened the weekend before with my husband. Prior to the visit of a dear friend he wanted to communicate a feeling and need but didn’t know how. When he spoke into his issue, it felt like a threat. I felt like something precious to me was going to be taken away. Later, after the visit (which went wonderfully), I asked him what he had been afraid of. When he communicated his true feelings under the issue, I embraced him right away. His feelings were so ….human. My heart was touched because all he wanted was a real connection with me. We found our way to each other quickly. I felt so loved after that conversation.

There is a a place we are able to land in our hearts when we can handle hearing other people’s feelings and emotions, without feeling that they can harm us. I overheard the couple next door have a moment in the back yard. It took the husband a moment to calibrate but then he ambled out back to his wife and sincerely asked, “Why are we fighting?” He was OK with hearing what was going on for her in her outburst. It opens a door to new heart-centered possibilities.

A feeling doesn’t need any permission. It just shows up and asks us to notice it. A feeling says, “I’m scared.” or “I’m worried” or “I’m glad”. A feeling is always TRUE when it shows up. Its authentic for the Human, no matter what the reason. Someone else’s feeling can’t hurt us. Its simply their experience. Its OK to ask for their true feelings under the words. Supporting each other like this is a vital part of uplifting our humanity.

New Wherewithal. This shift is happening for me in my heart. More and more, I am OK with others around me having the experience they are having. I don’t fear that their feelings can hurt me or even impact me.

Part of this has to do with a new found knowing that I can articulate, ask or otherwise state a need on my behalf. This calms my nervous system. There is less to fear. It is freeing, to know I can have and express a preference that is not the dominant group preference.

Pre-pandemic I struggled in groups. I struggled to be seen, to have voice. As we usually do, I thought the right answer was to have the OPPOSITE experience. But over the past 5 years, I have had the OPPOSITE experience, in spades. More voice and visibility than ever before. But that’s not what I actually want. I want the ability to express AND support others in expressing. I want to shape and voice, AND be informed by others’ shape and voice. Its like, I want to be with my Me AND the We.

That's the vibe I’m stepping into. Its a new capacity where I can let everyone around me have the experience they need to have while also having the one I want to have. It's the ability to step into a Group Flow while maintaining my own. Last week, this capacity let me stretch beyond the comfort zones of my usual personality; I spent 3 days in communal living with nearly 30 people. Following the flow, I had a sweet, expansive experience with rich connection–youth, elders, and mid-lifers.

Surround Sound. At the level of frequency, notice that the lack of congruence between my father-in-law’s feelings and his words made them come out agitated and snappish. This is the tell — the ability to be congruent with the truth in our heart comes out calm. I noticed this in a work meeting I was in yesterday. Staying true to my heart, I always found a way to ask a question or offer a contribution peacefully. And I was heard. This is in sharp contrast to the way I speak when I am worried about not having a chance to speak. That stress or apprehension is conveyed in the frequencies of my voice, even when it is not in my words. We are all actually wired to pick up on this, though most of us tend to focus on the words.

I personally love listening to your frequency and vibrations. At the InterPlay BIPOC retreat I led a workshop on Sound and Movement. By the end of an hour, people were using their voice more freely and joyfully in the space. They were more willing to allow notes and melodies to come out of their voice.

I am struck by the unique frequencies in each person’s voice. I love being able to hear this. Remember that – your voice contains a unique signature of all that you are, in any given moment.  

With so much Love for you, your journey and your unfolding.

Stay #heartwoke.

Monisha

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