Poetic Revelations: Minding the Gaps
The promise (and poetry) of you
“You’re task is not to seek for love but merely to seek all the barriers within you that you have built against it, and embrace them.” ~ Rumi
This is for heart-centered warriors, trying to make it through this thing we call life with an open intact heart.
SELECTED POEMS
Shall I tell you our Secret?, by Rumi
Poetry, Pablo Neruda
Dear Embodied Hearts and Dancing Souls,
Last week was quiet. Though there were social visits and fireworks, it was mostly down time. Its quite low key in the nation’s capital as people’s attention turns to the beach. I didn’t know what I was going to write about. It was hot and languid.
Anticipation. As a general rule, my people love the rain. My mother’s favorite weather (and truth be told, mine too) is when soft gray rain clouds gather, a slight breeze rustles and begins to quicken, all with the promise of sweet cleansing rain. In our hearts, its beguiling. There’s a lilt to it - its vagaries, wildness, its precious relief. We feel it as a promise to fulfill a secret longing. We have songs that careen loveward. We celebrate dancing in the rain. There are movies and playlists.
Its that slight gap I want to write about – the moment between the gathering of the clouds and unleashing torrent. It makes me catch my breath. I experienced this moment twice last week amidst the sweltering heat. I was lucky to be outside and catch them. Once in the backyard to clean up from gardening, and once at the nursery to get more plants. Both times I felt a sudden cool breeze sweep up my neck, the wind picked up and a light plink plink of raindrops landed on my arms. I looked up to see a gray sky laden with anticipation. Something delicious this way comes. A lovely full fledged torrent poured down each time. And I did have a secret longing fulfilled - I am a writer, with readers (thank you!).
Minding the Gaps. I took my physical symptoms to heart and began a cleansing regimen. Added greens, protein smoothies and copious amounts of water to my diet, and a nighttime practice to my facial routine. I let myself rest… with lots of Netflix.
The alligator skin on my face gave way to new impeachable skin. By Thursday I noticed a bounce in my step. My energy was returning. I even experimented with a burst of high intensity exercise (yup, one burst). On Friday, someone noticed my movement was “strong and light.” On Sunday, my body released weight.
I enjoy the energy and renewal I experience when I pay this level of attention to my body. Yet, I have an awful lot of mental resistance to what is being asked here. To my mind, the discipline feels repetitive and boring. To my body, it is attention that is sorely needed. To my mind, the number of lost pounds is an accomplishment. An item to check off so I can focus on achieving something else. (wow) My body has no interest in the numbers, at all.
Here is another gap to mind: between mind and body. Its like my body is silently and lovingly holding out its hand to my mind saying, “Its OK. I’ve got you” while my mind is a hesitant, scared child quivering in a corner. Holding my body’s hand is saying Yes to a partnership.
Embracing the gap. Something is sinking into place. I know the diet I need for my body to succeed. I somehow thought of it as a “transition” diet…not a regular one. But what if, this post-menopausal body is asking for nutrition that is easier to digest? What if lighter can mean stronger? Bodies evolve.
From here, my mind begins to soften its outlook. Maybe I take a step towards self-care as my first order of business. Maybe I follow my body’s mysterious lead, without goals. Maybe I am being led through this mysterious process to a way of working that is both light and strong, rather than pressuring myself. Maybe, there is a promise in this gap also.
I come from a long lineage of men who ignored their physical well-being in favor of mental prowess and societal contribution. In this moment, I notice the way my mind dances around my weight: strategizing, problem-solving, list-making, infrastructure building. My body (and heart) simply giggle. What about just listening to the body?
I am in awe of just how much of ourselves we can embrace. I don’t fix the gaps, I embrace them. My body deals aren't a distraction from the path - they are the path. They will take me where I need to go. First it was changing the relationship between my heart and mind, now between my mind and body.
We are each a poem breaking open.
Stay #heartwoke. To your exquisite unfolding.