Poetic Revelations: Shadows and Luminations
The Big Release
“If you can’t see what you want, see what’s there.”
—Mark Nepo, Book of Awakening
This is a weekly publication for heart-centered warriors, swimming through this thing called life with an intact, open heart (and voice).
SELECTED POEMS
Illumination, Elizabeth Woody
Luminism, Mark Strand
Dear Embodied Hearts and Dancing Souls,
We are living in a time of shadow in search of lumination. Or perhaps, there is a big dark cloud over the light that is always there.
Religious Fast. Its a fast day today. I have cleaned the God figurines in my mandir, plucked the flowers for the offerings, and in general tried to enlarge my focus from normal day to day living to the bigger picture around me.
I love this time of year for broadening my focus, and especially for tuning into Divine Feminine energy. The fast is part of that. Tonight’s puja is meant to pray for my husband. We’ve repurposed the holiday to honor our mothers and grandmothers. We will eat when the moon rises.
Not Knowing. But I haven’t been sinking into the Divine Feminine invitation as much as I usually do. Its been very still the past 2 weeks. I got worried that perhaps my radar was no longer working. In fact my writing voice last week was the quietest its ever been. My way of picking up signals from my surroundings is at the center of my writing. Both how I write and why I write.
Last week, I moved with this dilemma in another Vocal Play session. What’s this stillness about I wondered?
As I moved, I felt myself floating in a still clear lake, looking up at the grand vista of sky and tree tops, my left index finger lazily swirling the water around, with gentle ripples waving far out. It was all very serene. When I gave into this feeling, my hands turned inward and downward and my knees did too. I could feel a central fulcrum point asking me to drop into it. I felt held by it so completely I began exhaling deeply, releasing all I was holding on to.
In this process I can tell you two things. When I move with something, I don’t have to know anything about the information flowing through me. I get to Sense it. I don’t know what I was holding onto or what I was releasing. But following my senses, I knew to lean into the movement of folding into my center, find the support and let go. I did all of that without Knowing anything!
It inspires me that we are hardwired for such Wisdom. I celebrate that its available to all of us equally.
Second, my mind wanted to know alot. It likes working things out. It doesn’t do so well with 2 weeks of still, clear lake. It began judging me. It wanted to know the program and how to get behind one. :)
The Big Release. Now I know, Release was the program to get behind. My husband and I hopped on an express bus to NYC Friday morning, and then walked, subway-ed and ate our hearts out, enjoying the last gorgeous autumn weekend with our peeps in this pulsing Gotham. Our relationship needed this, as did each of us individually. More than an escape, it gave us perspective to clear some air, take responsibility, and fill our cups with the joy of each other’s company again. Connection filled my heart.
It was Fun. I didn’t know I needed this. In fact, my mind wondered quite a bit what I was doing. I had to adjust to …enjoying myself. I also didn’t know it was time for the full moon (or lunar eclipse) this weekend. But our last night out, at a rooftop restaurant, we glimpsed it in its full glory. Right on Time.
Musing. I just went through two weeks of not knowing much. I didn’t feel like myself. I began judging myself and my life. Perhaps this is a time of the world walking in our collective unknowing.
The presence of God has never eliminated pain, only made it more bearable. Now, when things don’t go the way I want, I try to kiss what waits beneath all wants. ~ Mark Nepo
As we walk in a collective darkness, I look for the light high above, under my feet and in my heart.
Stay #heartwoke. To your exquisite unfolding,
Monisha
NOTES:
There is Dance Chapel tonight (10-24-2023)!