Poetic Revelations: The Invisible Hand is a Current
Light Streams, Shifts and Play
That was before I learned to harness that upward motion inside me, before I nested my head in the blood of my body. ~ Ada Limon, Miracle Fish
Because Human-ing is harder than Adulting. This is a weekly publication for heart-centered warriors, swimming through this thing called Life.
Selected Readings and Songs:
Miracle Fish, Ada Limon
The Fifth Day, Jane Hirchfield
Dear Embodied Hearts and Dancing Souls,
Wow are we blessed with the poems in this article! I received the best love letter for Chapter 1 of my book. Two words: Keep Going. Going forward, I will be sending select content from my book to paid subscribers. Working title: “Move For Your Own Joy: The Promise in Your Physicality.”
Crankerstering. You have to hand it to some folks, especially older women. They say exactly what they mean. On Sunday I was paired with an elderly woman who came to check out my introductory play session at my meditation center. We did some back and forth leading and following with our hands. When I asked about her experience, she said, “You know, with the pandemic, you get used to being alone without contact.”
“So what did you notice about this type of contact going back and forth?”
“Well, both good and bad…,” she says. The sentence hangs her mouth stays open.
A twinkle in my eye, I knew right away what she was going to say next: “Its nice but then I have to do what they want to do.” A good thing to notice! 😂
The Invisible Hand. Imagine floating on a raft down a calm river stream. The river’s current pulls you forward NO MATTER WHAT. No matter if you are figuring out your next paycheck or focusing on a specific goal. No matter how subconsciously you strive to meet societal expectations. 5 years ago I couldn’t let my professional identity go peacefully. Now, I see…letting go is like taking a spear out of my side, knowing this is the right thing I need to do even though there is some tender pain. Side by side, I feel another layer of letting go my fear around money.
The invisible current is the flow of my own Life Force. Without awareness, I would move against the flowing underlying my Life. I over-react to occurrences on the surface (like my manager saying, we need to change your employment status). My brain brings forward old (unhelpful) programming on how to relate to the situation.
Its our response to how we’re being pulled forward by Life’s current that determines the quality and state of our being.
In moments of physical Play last week, my Body shows me I am crossing a threshold. My grief over losing former professional identities seems to have worked its way through me. In my dance, I turn to shut a door or two behind me. Suddenly I feel OK with the present and future, they’re holding more than I’ve lost. I wouldn’t even have known I was grieving like this if except for this space opening up. This is where the current has led me. I didn’t open new doors in my dance. Instead, I found myself bowing to everything those professional doors had given me over 35 years: clients, colleagues, acumen, writing, architecting, travel and flow of funds. Bowing is another way to say, Thank you! I receive this. I increase my capacity to receive this. There is nothing to fear here, the current is guiding my way forward. I am Grateful. 🙌
Grateful. The moment I celebrate the most from Sunday’s workshop is a woman who looked me eagerly in the eye at the end with a smile on her face and said, “The dancing felt like an active prayer on my behalf.” Yes it is. I could feel how touched and comforted she felt. At the start, she had shared how even a small amount of speaking during the intro “babbles” felt somewhat uncomfortable. Well, she went on a little journey with me. And so did others.
When people first entered the space, I could feel their caution and hesitation. We were standing in a circle. Its OK, I know this. I had prepared my words, stuck with the wisdom of incrementality and made sure there were options for sitting. Its just…after 5 years in my IP bubble, I was struck by the starting point of real people who don’t Play or Move. I felt a great degree of humility. You can always tell the people who are opened by InterPlay. They buzz, with more energy and light to them. Take that brave new world!! 🎉
Holiness. The thing I miss about Tuesday night Dance Chapel is the anchoring of Holy space. It just runs right through my system, clears me all out. Fortunately I experience this in other people’s groups. Like tonight. Some of us played with Light. There was a moment where someone played with light streaming down a window on their ceiling. As she moved her hands, I saw flashes of brilliance like she was playing with liquid gold. Dazzling and mezmerizing.
Why should we care? Because this intelligent, subdued, reflective person became filled with delight that only Playing in the moment can bring. She transformed in an instant, suddenly she was willing to be Here, out of her head and she was genuinely enjoying herself. Here, our capacity to Play is essential.
Its beautiful witnessing people actually enjoying themselves. We can feel their joy just being their self. Watching this in someone spreads the joy to you and me. It feels right doesn’t it?
The current in this scene was a cascading waterfall of light. And…I kid you not, it played with her. In the center of our bones, I feel assured we are actually Light.
Pricking the Bubble. At the end of the 5 year mourning period, I notice shifts that feel like little pricks to my IP bubble. I waded through the waters of the last 5 years in a particular way: so much to “prove”, doing it alone. That was a coping mechanism for dealing with my professional losses as a highly sensitive body. Even as I’ve matured, my old achieving habits can sneak in…did I get that right? Now, whoa. After Sunday, I see its about relationships. Let me come into relationship with “new” cautious workshop participants. Everything else will likely flow. (That word “likely”? That’s resistance right there). 🙂
This is less about me. Another layer of safety, another level of Accepting myself, coming into my Body comes in. On one side of the threshold, I wrestled with enoughness. But on the other side…as I feel firm in my real self, I notice what a funny combination of goofball and introspection I am! (Holy Cannoli). I notice an instant humility and respect for others. I notice my commitment to joy and depth may not be everyone's cup of tea. I notice others can gaze at me with judgment. What is this Play nonsense?!
Yet my chrysalis has filled me with so much Grace, that my wildass sensitive body can accept this too. Letting go means I can simply choose the people, places and activities that feed my light. I get to be here side by side with all of you.
With so much Love for you, your journey and your unfolding.
Stay #heartwoke.
Monisha
"I feel assured we are actually Light". Yes!