Poetic Revelations: The Growl in our Bellies

Admitting our Desires

"We use power best when we are powerful in the name of a deeply rooted desire. When we do so, we are commanding and creating our world from the most essential, alive and beautiful parts of ourselves."
— Kasia Urbaniak, “The Woman’s Guide to Power: Unbound”

When first married, I would swoon over flowers only to have my scientific husband scoff, brandishing all of them as simply sex organs.

This is a weekly publication for heart-centered warriors, swimming through this thing called life. Because Human-ing is harder than Adulting.

Selected Poems:

• How to Triumph Like a Girl, Ada Limon

• I will Not Die an Unlived Life, Dawna Markova

Dear Embodied Hearts and Dancing Souls,

There is wellness. And then there is Power. A fellow InterPlayer mentioned this weekend that within IP, we rarely play with sex, power and money. I’ve learned that its challenging to be honest with ourselves about our true desires. Yet, this honesty unleashes our true power.

Dance Chapel is ON tonight.

A Growl in my Belly. Following the fault line from my depression led to a facilitated session that had me moving with sound around my study. A growling sound began emerging from deep in my belly. It was primal, gutteral, and snarly like a dog. I began kicking something imaginary, trying to get it away from me.  Slowly words began to form….I…My….Want. My heels were smacking the ground. I WANT, my voice thundered. I walked around the room, words becoming shapes in my mouth until finally I spat out, I can have what I want.  

Somehow, our authentic power is intertwined within our true desires.

Too long, us females have been told to squelch our desires. I certainly was. The thing I didn’t anticipate was how buried my own wants could become. When I’m cut off from my desires, I am cut off from a core part of my inner compass, my way finder. 

Reading Kasia Urbaniak’s book Unbound, I reached a place where she asks us to write down our desires, no matter how unrealistic. All she asked was that I could feel a Yes in my body. I could hardly come up with anything. Too many times we wean ourselves off our true desires because we think we can’t have them. I know I did.

I Can Have what I want. I was worried my “I want” muscle had atrophied beyond recovery. Moving this primal energy up my system and out my voice was a huge first step. It felt incredibly liberating to admit I Have Wants. This level of self honesty is… peaceful, clear.

But boy did I shift some energy when I said, “I can Have what I want!” I cried the next morning, just getting in touch with this part of me again. Then, I noticed some vital driving energy come in all on its own. Let’s get on with this it seemed to say.

I find myself taking action on my behalf. I even took action around some sorrow by organizing a video tribute for my mother’s 80th birthday. She was willing to let go, however momentarily, of her limiting beliefs around the love and support she enjoys in this world and allowed herself real, untempered joy. Lifting up her life-force was an action I could take; energetically, it paid dividends.

Be honest about what you truly desire. The honesty allows motivating forces and helpful resources to flow in and assist!

I am using the same juice to complete job applications, develop copy for my new offering, and pursue bigger initiatives. Bird by Bird.

Alive. Another teaching of Kasia’s around desire that struck me is that (she says) we can not invent, plan or make up our desires. Instead, she says, our true desires live in “our animal body.” I encourage you to read the full excerpt from her book.

Desire isn't a to-do list, nor a shopping list or an item on a menu.  It's a living thing.  You feed it with care and attention ...  It wants to come alive. ~ from the book, Unbound

Desire is a natural part of our life-force. Becoming honest with these pieces of ourself serves to gather our natural power. It can drive convinction, serve as a focus point for our energy. Most of all, I feel there is a magical alignment that occurs when we yoke our Will with our true desire. Kasia says “it’s when we are operating from deeply embodied place of true…longing, …true vitality that getting what we want serves the wholeUniverse.” This …is truly where the magic happens.

With so much Love for you, your journey and your unfolding.

Stay #heartwoke.

Monisha

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NOTES:

1. Dance Chapel is ON tonight, 2/27/2024